Sponsors are a big part of 12-Step recovery programs because they bring in experience and can provide one-on-one sessions to help you work The Twelve Steps. They can greatly benefit your recovery if you find the right match. There are a lot of factors that you should consider when it comes to finding a sponsor and information you should know before reaching out to one. Spero Recovery can help you learn what a sponsor is, how they can help your recovery, and how to find one that fits your needs.
What Is a Sponsor?
A sponsor is someone that has been successful in their recovery program and works with others on theirs. They serve as a role model for The Twelve Steps. The experience they bring to the sponsor/sponsee relationship gives you something to learn from and how to prevent from making the same mistakes.
Factors to Consider When Finding a Sponsor
You and your sponsor have to mesh personalities, schedules, and boundaries. Not having this cohesive relationship can make it harder for you to feel comfortable reaching out to them. It can also mean you risk relapse because you don’t feel like you have that support system to lean on when needed.
Priorities When Finding a Sponsor
Ensuring that you have someone with the same priorities as you are essential. It means you can help each other learn new ways to maintain these priorities and reach your goals. For example, your focus may be to start eating healthier, so finding someone who shares that priority can make finding meet-up spots easier and give you something to bond over other than your struggle with substance use disorder (SUD). You can also get better feedback about the goals you are trying to achieve from someone that has worked towards similar goals.
Boundaries When Finding a Sponsor
Setting healthy boundaries with your sponsor lets you understand where the other stands on specific topics. This can include ways of contact, when contacting is available, how your time together will be spent, limits on topics, and maintaining confidentiality.
If you only like to text or email because talking on the phone makes you uncomfortable, then you don’t want to find a sponsor that mainly likes to communicate through talking over the phone. The same goes for times when you can reach out to them. You may work during the day, so you need someone during stressful work hours, or you may need someone available at night because you’re home alone.
The person you choose to be your sponsor needs to share similar boundaries as you and be able to adhere to them for an effective relationship. Limits must also be set to prevent the relationship from becoming romantic or inappropriate for a sponsor/sponsee bond. Finding a sponsor that can adhere to the set boundaries is essential.
Personality When Finding a Sponsor
You want to find someone that meshes well with your personality. This means they can be different from you. To feel most comfortable, they may even need to be the opposite of your personality. Finding someone that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and encouraged on your recovery journey is vital to them being successful in helping you through it.
The sponsor should also show that they enjoy and thrive in their sobriety. Having someone you are turning to for help who isn’t happy at the place you are trying to reach can set you back and make you question being on your recovery journey. It can give you the wrong image to look towards and hurt your vision of the future.
Schedule When Finding a Sponsor
Their schedule can be a part of boundaries and making sure you match when you are both available. The schedule can also pertain to how many sponsees they already have. If they are trying to take on too many people, it can hurt all of you because they can’t give you the attention you need. When they are working with their sponsee, they need to be able to be present with them and meet their needs.
Finding a Sponsor With Spero Recovery
We are a residential SUD recovery facility based on the fundamentals of 12-Step programs. Some of these fundamentals include sponsors and a sense of community. Spero Recovery helps you find a sponsor by connecting you with alumni, attending recovery meetings, and teaching you interpersonal skills.
Our alumni have completed the recovery program and are thriving in their recovery journey. They often return to run our experiential treatment sessions. It allows them to connect with others working on recovery, give back to their community, and find a sense of purpose. You get to connect with someone who has been where you are and now thrives in their sobriety. This can give you hope to reach the same goals, find someone to become your sponsor, and give you an unbiased empathetic party to confide in.
The recovery meetings are another opportunity for you to get to know others in your sober community and figure out if one of them would be a good fit as a sponsor for you. During the meeting, you can understand where they are in their recovery journey and if they are happy working on The Twelve Steps. You have an opportunity after the meeting to interview them and discuss the possibility of them becoming your sponsor.
Developing your interpersonal skills can help you connect and communicate with others. These skills allow you to appropriately process situations, communicate your intentions, and advocate for your needs. Interpersonal skills help find a sponsor because they are the key to effective connection.
A sponsor can be a great resource to help you work through recovery. Their experience of the recovery process can give you an advantage in your own journey. It gives you something to learn from and helps prevent you from making the same mistakes. Finding a sponsor that meets your needs is essential for them to actually be able to help you. Their availability and personality have to work for you to feel comfortable reaching out for help. If you feel like you are struggling to find the right sponsor for you during your recovery journey, reach out to Spero Recovery at (303) 351-7888 for more information today. We understand the difficulty that can come from finding the right sponsor.
